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Tonight, it was nice to be left alone for a change. I enjoy being left alone most of the time, and especially after iapos;ve been more or less forced to be around people for a time.

and I often feel like i donapos;t fit.

I have an eclectic history of friends.

One of them is pregnant and now must marry, because she is a Christian.

The funny thing is that she was living and sleeping with him before she got pregnant. Out of religious conviction, to be sure.

And now she is going to be a mother. At 20. So she can bring another exceptional human being into the world.

I just donapos;t get it. If you arenapos;t going to listen to God in the first place, why wouldnapos;t you just continue to ignore him? It irks me to think of all the potential damage she could have avoided had she been realistic with herself, understood that she clearly doesnapos;t care about Godapos;s rules (although she more than ANYONE had been raised knowing them) and save the KID all the consequences of her mistake? If it was me, iapos;d be like, "self, youapos;ve been an ass. You blew god off, and now you see why he tells us to do things his way. Now save the world the cost of your idiocy and quietly get an abortion, turn your life around and go to college." She could have a whole new start.

But letapos;s be honest. Thatapos;s not what she wants.

i see 3 factors at play here:
1. Unchallenged conformity to Christian social standards. It doesnapos;t matter how it happened, now sheapos;s got a baby and abortion is UNPARDONABLE.
2. Fear and struggle to conform to moral standards, perpetuated by a low level of character. She has already proved herself unwilling to commit to her professed Christian values, and so why should we expect her to commit to her lack of morals? Iapos;ve done the same thing in my life. Sheapos;s neither hot nor cold. Sheapos;s never been interested in overcoming (see revelation 3) and i am mistaken to expect more from her.
3. She has always harbored dreams of becoming a mother. Part of me wonders if she didnapos;t evade the birth control.

Someday, i will include a character like her in my books.

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